Keeping Open Communication With Your Child And Ex-spouse
“The single biggest problem in communication is
the illusion that it has taken place.”
-George Bernard Shaw
Children need meaningful and continuing contact from both parents. The State of Indiana starts with this presumption when setting out parenting guidelines. In addition to nurturing children by taking care of basic needs (food, clothes, shelter, safety, education etc.), one of the most important aspects of a parenting plan is open, consistent communication. Since communication is not just about the sender but also about the receiver and since there are separate homes each with their own set of rules, it is vital that communication be clear on the receiving end.
For you, as a parent involved in a walking out a parenting plan, this means good communication with your children and with your ex-spouse. Here are some guidelines that help frame expectations as set by the State of Indiana for communication among parents.
- Stay up to date with one another’s home and work addresses
- Keep records of all relevant telephone numbers
- When changes are made to contact information, give notice to the other parent in writing.
- When one of you communicates with a child (via telephone, for example), the other parent needs to know.
- Unless under extenuating circumstances, communication requests should be at reasonable times and in reasonable places
- “Give this to your Dad” is not an acceptable way to send documents or financial information. Don’t use the kids to exchange important information.
Good Communication With Your Kids
When communicating with your kids, whether by telephone, mail, or in emergencies, here are a couple of general rules to live by:
- Don’t use your kids to process the emotions of what has happened between you and your spouse. (There are professionals that can help you process these things and keep your kids emotionally healthy)
- Keep a united front even when you’re apart – refuse to speak negatively of your ex-spouse to your children.
- When your ex-spouse is requesting to speak to your child at a reasonable time, do your best to let them.
- Try not to interrupt those phone calls, especially using the child to relay questions to the other parent.
- Honor the privacy of letters, emails, texts, and social media messages from the other spouse.
Indiana Father’s Rights Attorney
Dads, don’t let your custody and parenting rights get trampled. Enlist the experience and proficient counsel of an advocate for fathers’ rights. If you fear you may lose your kids or have your parenting time whittled down to zero, call us today at (812) 945-3055 or contact us online anytime.