Social Media Challenges for Men

How many commercials have you seen featuring a dad who’s simply mesmerized by the latest flat screen TV, a shiny new sports car or some other appealing object?  It’s true.  Men are visual creatures.  We also have the ability to completely block out the world while focusing on whatever’s right in front of us.  This begins to explain the social media challenges for men.

Realistically, it may not all be our fault.  We’re wired this way.

But let me begin with a simple statement:  Facebook can wait.  This is good advice for a man going through a divorce.  It’s also important for a man during his visitation time with his children.

Any family law attorney can spend hours discussing the problems men get into on Facebook, YouTube, Tinder and even texting.  There are a few things you should consider because social media challenges our better judgment.

If your divorce case is ongoing, now is not the time to post snarky comments about your spouse.  Social media isn’t the platform for your raw emotions.  Anything you post, or have posted in the past, can be treated as evidence by the other attorney.  Remember the advice your mother offered.  “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all.”

Your soon to be ex-spouse is probably dealing with similar urges to tell the world every detail about you.  If you feel the need to argue, go for a walk, hit the gym or simply change the subject.  Don’t subject your friends and family to an online skirmish.

Reality check:  The rest of the world has its own problems.  We don’t need to deal with yours.  A better outlet would be to find a trusted friend who’s willing to listen, offline.

Another one of the social media challenges men face involves timing.  Because we’re built to focus on one or two items at a time, we have trouble turning off the screen or the smart phone.  I’ve seen example after example of fathers paying more attention to their emails, texts and Facebook timelines than to the attention they give to their son/daughter.

Social media and the constant influx of texts and pictures can keep us from spending quality time with our child.  We need to find a way to limit our screen time.

If you’re a divorced dad, don’t waste the important visitation time.  Your child needs to feel that he/she is important in your life.  They deserve to be the focus of your attention.  Believe it or not, they may actually want to spend time with you.

When your spending time with your child, put the phone in the other room, or turn off the notifications.  Try to eliminate the temptation for distraction.  This is especially important when your driving or during meals.

Your parenting time is there to help you to reconnect with your son or daughter.  Use it wisely.  As most dads will admit, there’s never enough time.  So remember, Facebook can wait.  The world won’t end because you didn’t add your comment to someone’s post.  You can always check it later.  For now, go be a great dad.  Your kiddos need your undivided attention.

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